Truthful Tuesday

As you may have noticed, it's been some time since my last post. This is partly because I've been very busy involved in new ventures but mainly because my blogging interest has waned. I hadn't seen Vic and Alyssa in over three months. In the last month or so I'd been, well I want to say I'd been thinking, but really it was more a feeling. I've been feeling that it was time to let our sexual escapades come to an end. There were no arguments. I wasn't mad at anyone, or vice versa. I just felt like it was finished. I didn't care either way if I had sex with him (or erotic play with her) anymore. And I felt that wasn't a good position to be in. You shouldn't feel indifferent towards your lover. This is not to say I feel indifferent towards Vic as a friend. I still care about him. Even after the talk we had last week.

Late last week Victor and I had a talk in which we decided to end things. Totally. No sex, no friendship, no nothing. That wasn't exactly what I'd wanted. I thought we'd remain friends even after removing sex from the equation. This next section is what I felt and wrote immediately after our discussion:

The end. I felt like crying. Oddly enough he brought it up and not the other way around. I didn't realize. I guess I just never really thought about saying good bye. He's been a part of my life for almost 8 yrs. He was always there to talk to and now, gone, just like that. I'm not very good about letting people go. He was my first and a good friend, a confidante, an adviser, a listener. He really cared. I guess when you really care you do have to let them go, right? And even though it's basically what I wanted, I didn't expect it to feel like this. It's most definitely a loss. There's an ache in my chest right now, where I'm holding the tears. Maybe I'll let them go later. But I wanted to get this down while it's fresh in my mind.

I thought we were on the same page. No more sex, but keep the friendship. That's what I thought, that's what I wanted. But he wanted a break altogether which really threw me. He said our relationship was throwing him off. Which I didn't really ever think about. But I guess I should have. Vic had started another blog entry a couple weeks back about the two females in his life and the roles we played and how it all worked. He never finished it but I remember a bit of it. He wrote about how it was weird that he could have a loving wife at home and still miss me so much. And I don't know how often I was brought up in their bedroom and how that might've made Alyssa feel about things.

She once told Vic that she couldn't dislike me if she wanted to cause I was so nice. But I'm sure being reminded of your partner's desire for another woman during moments of intimacy with him could get to you. I certainly don't want to nor did I plan to come between them as I care a lot for them. They're great people. Ours was an unorthodox situation. And one of course that I knew was never to be a forever deal. But who knew the end would hurt like this.

That's what I wrote last week, started before we'd even finished talking. I didn't cry that day, although it hurt. I have to respect his wishes and because I care for him I want him happy. Alyssa too. I wish them a (continued) great life together. I'll miss them.

And so with the end of our relationship comes the end of my blogging. I won't shut it down because others may stumble upon it and enjoy reading it. I have one more story to tell but I wasn't sure I should, all things considered. Please leave comments and you can let me know if you'd like to read about our last intimate encounter. I've enjoyed sharing my journey with you.

Sex and "The City"

The next day Vic woke me up with a gentle kiss. As sunlight peeked through the blinds, he and Alyssa were starting to engage in sex play. I lay next to them, still drowsy but enjoying the show. Vic kissed me, then focused more on Alyssa. The two of them were hot and heavy right off. Vic got on, got in and got busy! This was fun to watch first thing in the morning. Before long Alyssa was moaning, her inhales becoming audible accents to the other sights and sounds of sex. Victor pumped and she pushed, his cock pistoning in and out, faster and harder. I could tell when Alyssa came of course, as she tends to be pretty vocal. I could also tell when Vic was about to let loose. With a low humming growl, he his released penis, pressed it onto Alyssa's stomach and came. Great way to start a morning in my book!

We lay together for a few minutes and I found out it was Vic's first time cumming. Which meant that although he'd gotten Alyssa off and worn ME out the night before, he hadn't even found release! I hadn't realized it and my respect for him shot up another notch. Here was a man willing to work hard at giving his lovers pleasure and he hadn't completed his own.

Vic invited me to hang out with him and Alyssa. They were going to Central Park. Of course I agreed, it's been some time since I'd been there myself. So after breakfast we walked down the block and hopped on the train. When we exited the subway we noticed there was a street fair going on. We walked around, browsing a little at the different booths. I bought a rather unique piece of jewelry and Alyssa purchased an exotic little jewelry box. As we got closer to Central Park, Alyssa had an unfortunate run in with a pigeon, or should I say his excrement. So we made a quick detour into the Time Warner building. That is a really nice building, filled not only with stores but interesting art pieces. While Alyssa handled her situation Vic and I took a few pics by paintings and sculptures. When she rejoined us we took a few more pics and walked out into the sun.

It was a beautiful day. I mean warm temperatures, no wind, an almost cloudless sky. You almost couldn't tell it was October. It was simply beautiful. The three of us walked lazily, stopping to take pictures every now and then. We joked about the going's -on around us and just enjoyed spending time together. This was a first for us. We'd never just hung out with each other without sex being part of the equation. I found that I really liked it. We spent hours together doing nothing more than talking, laughing and observing. Our trio nibbled pretzels on a bench in large path covered by tall trees, and the scene was gorgeous. It was a moment you wish you could freeze in time. There was nothing particularly "special" about it and that's what made it special to me.

New Year, New Sexcapades

First I'd like to say Happy New Year! I hope everyone enjoyed the holidays and this new year is off to a good start. It may seem like I've forgotten the blog but between work and the holidays (very busy holidays) I haven't had the time to blog.

I've missed it, as well as missing Victor and Alyssa. Believe it or not I haven't seen my bed buddies in a couple of months. I think I'm starting to go through withdrawal. But hopefully that will be remedied soon. Then I'll have even more to write about. Vic and I, of course, have kept communication open. We've talked about reconnecting and things we'd like to do that we haven't gotten around to yet (take a look at the list). But don't worry, there are more posts to come!